Funny Quotes

Use them in your msn p/m's!

I'm so fly I should have my own airline.
I'm not all that and a bag of chips. I'm the whole freakin party mix.
When God made me he was just showing off.
A life? Cool! Where can I download one of those?
Give a penny. Take a penny. If you need more than five pennies, get a job.
If you come to a fork in the road, take it.
No matter where you go, there you are.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight!
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
I'm not a bitch. I just have a low bullshit tolerance.
Gone Crazy, Back soon!
Without these blonde moments life would be so dull.
Just because I understand don’t think I care.
My door is always open so feel free to leave anytime.
You! Off my planet!
The Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Men: they may have you on your knees but you’ve got them by the balls.
If you treat a woman like an object that's wrong. If you treat an object like a woman, that's disgusting.
What a shame! Looks like the ugly fairy kissed you on both cheeks
I have all the answers but I never said they were right.
I wasn't Kissing him, I was just telling his lips a secret!
If there isn't chocolate in Heaven... I'm not going!
This isnt Burger King you cant have it your way!
What happened to you? Cross the street without looking?
Try not to let your mind wander, it's too small to be out by itself.
If you don't like my driving get off the sidewalk.
Who died and made you Darth Vader?
I'm as confused as a gangsta with a skateboard.